Archive for » June, 2011 «

Mom says I talk too much. Woe is me she is right. might stop blogging for a while. At least publishing stuff get this life of mine together then come back and totally be like surprise I’m back.

*posts Hiatus sign*


Do the people you date reflect who you are as a person… If so I feel kinda bad. I must be a crap ass individual?
hahahaha ok maybe I’m exxagerating but if Present Omo.. could visit younger Omo.. I’d slap her twice then whip her w a koboko stick so she knew to stay away from them…
Lmbo! Ok this is cracking me up, when do i write these things, and how come I never publish them?


How many dreams am I supposed to give up until I can actually live the one dream I’ve wanted since I could even do anything else?

Another draft I didn’t know I wrote


Even when I know I am expected to do something and it is wiser for me not to do the expected I rather do it bc it makes me feel better. For something I am so used to I don’t know why I am still brazen by it. If I am used to the rain I might as well bring out an umbrella. If I know it’s dinner time I should be ready to consume. Despite my experience in many situation I get surprised each time. Like the definition for insanity doing the same thing Orr and over expecting it to have a differny result. My situation is more so being in the same situation over and over expecting there to be some eureka and grand light bulb showing that something has got to change. No idea on what goes on in my life outside of my own body anymore things just have their own way of happening and i constantly have no say. I have plenty of questions with no one willing to answer. It is sickening. I am one of those people that would enjoy the hoot life style if it weren’t for my love of electronics but I don’t belive in wat i think everyone should walk around with smiles and when you are sad talk about your feelings. Clearly I am the only person on this side of the world who feels this way…. And because of my mind set I can’t understand many people and their actions or it could be ppl don’t understand me. At the end of the day, month semester it whatever I just want to be happy. I don’t want anymore compromising situations it’s unfair but laird always stressed that there is no such thing as fairness what a sad and pathetic way to live one’s life!! ……..
This was in my drafts, I don’t know when I wrote it though, wow… I’m deff not that upset w life anymore
Yay me!

The assignment is to make a 5 minute presentation to the class telling them who I am. I’ve been dodging my chance to go for 2 weeks now. Clearly I don’t want to have to tell them a darn thing about myself, why I laugh when Im nervous, why i cover my mouth when I speak, why I am on the verge of tears if I think about last semester or middle school or why I am on my career path. I really don’t like talking bout myself when I HAVE to. lol If I talked about everything that Happened to me on this blog It would be 100 x’s more interesting and entertaining but I just dont have the courage to put myself out there. Ive never wanted to be an example or a learning experience for others, I can’t even learn from my own mistakes. If people knew how many midlife crises I’ve had at 20 …. smh
I have so much angst concerning this assignment. Its actually making me think back to things event and people I chose to forget and ignore. Now their existence in my life and past almost matters since I have to acknowledge them. The bright side is that all the blessing I’ve received are resurfacing too….

One day I would like to be completely honest with myself and try to remember everything that I have repressed, good and bad.

Its father’s day and Im thinking about how much my siblings mean to me.
I love my daddy so much though… I can never explain how much I love that man. He is the epitome of perfection in my eyes. He is gentle lovin hardworking and super hilarious and fun. Getting blessed with a father like him was no mistake He’s mine!! all mine! I guess I have to share him w these brats but w/e.

Ok so my siblings. At times Im really mean to them and they are now in their teen years so they are returning the favor. However I love them as if they were my own children, Im scared I dont love them more than my own but who knows. i push them so hard sometimes and I feel like they might start to resent me for it. It hurts a little but when it all pays off I wont care. It just isnt fair that they look at me as if i am a bully now. I know I cant make scrifices for them like my parents do but I break my back to make sure they never repeat the mistakes I have and they surpass their intended success. I love those brats! they are my babies. I wish they knew how much I care about them. No one understands how much it hurts me when they are all sour face when I tell them no or make them do something they dont want to.

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I am hoping and praying that my career takes me everywhere I want to go. I intend to travel… esp to India, Ive been obsessed since childhood.. blame my mother.


My summers always bring me back to 9-5 hour days, and waking up before dawn. Cant wait for the Fall… I’ll be back to sleeping all day, classes all evening and studying all night.

I don’t think I will be posting a lot this summer though, I am busy all through but if anything interesting occurs, i’ll be sure to post.