Archive for » March, 2010 «

My heart is up in the air, exact location cloud 9, who will be there to catch it when it falls? – ♥ Omolara ♥

I came to the realization that 75% of the things I post will have something upsetting in it. It is partially why i started blogging. Didnt really have someone to tell it all to without being judged or looked down on. I have people like that now but i still cant avoid blogging.  It is always easy to tell people the good news but the things that bother you most inside are hard to get out. Initially I didnt broadcast my blog but its whatever, whoever sees it now sees it. It wont change me or my situations.On to the bad news:D

I think I have tonsilitis… my throat swells up every so often, i think its because i had to get that root canal and might have got an infection. NO IDEA just guessing. My antibiotics form the surgery arent helping because I dont take them regular… I hate pills what can I say.

Exam tomorrow night. A couple of papers and some quizez and tests to do… im drowining in work and I dont care. I do care but im doing it all in time to keep my insanty. I refuse to go crazy to earn a degreee. Ive seen it happen. Im keeping my sanity and the little bit of happiness i have in my heart. A university is not takig that into a choke hold.

There is this guy that i am madly in love with . The problem is that I have yet to meet him. Because he is taking so long i keep displacing my affection on a set of other want to be’s of him. Its sad. I keep getting fooled thinking its’s him but its another false alarm. Oh.. I dont know why i yearn for a companion so much.  Im not looking for anything sexual at all… shit…  u dont even have to kiss me.. I think i just want someone around. Other people dont understand that. I dont know what it is… other people just dont want someone around.. sigh.  Some just want a crowd around and I get left with no elbow room.. so i leave. Shame…  My point, I dont want a companion for a very long time. It brings trouble, the trouble i dont have energy to withstand….  if someone just understood me.. this blog post  wouldnt exist .

I was told to create a flyer for a banquet.. I came up with this…

I send this email and the next day I get a call saying

“Oh im sorry I didnt need a flyer i just needed you to copy and paste a collage of other banquet flyer ideas from other school”

MY FACE -__ – <—ftw… yeh its w/e It was fun practice tho

I have a couple of emotions going on right now. I am angry because someone that is supposed to help me is acting like they are clueless but when it comes to people that dont matter they put their all into it. I am sad because I really want to make something greater out of what I have now but truth be told I am scared too. I dont need to get in trouble and cry later. I am annoyed because my English professor lost her damn mind. She preassigned all this work, but it is work that it not necessary and teaches me nothing. I hate 003 and its lack of concept for my personal use. I thought i might learn how to write better. Starting to think it WONT happen, FUCK English. I feel resentment towards rejection. It keeps coming up in my face this week. Prime example i showed up at Johns Hopkins for an Omoge Performance but All i could do is remember that i was rejected from this school that was supposed to be all mine. I was envious of all the people there even my close friends that attend the school. I actually started tearing up. SIGH… I wasnt completely over it but I faced some other types of rejections this weekend. When we were coming back to Howard Had a random auto accident. The car stopped in the interstate and we were there for a good 3 hours. My roomate came to save the day. I feel loved. She is a true blessing to my life. She got up in the middle of the night and really didnt know where she was going but came to pick up her roomate thats she has only known for a couple of months and some other 4 strangers to bring them back to school. she is a Saint I love her so much. Umm… I think I vented enough.

I downloaded some photoshop actions and I really liked this photo from a really long time ago. had fun with it. Eh

I have written a lot of secret posts about love and how strongly I feel about it and how it sways me to do some pretty outlandish things but I feel that I can finally publish something about it. Love is not pretty, it absolutely makes things more complicated than they need to be. Not only is it the case for having love, but the lack there of. So many people expect a certain type of love that they have to rummage for from person to person but it sucks that you have to search for so long. Ive searched and at the end of the day I feel disappointed. I know I am young and i have a whole life ahead of me but I have been love struck since I was born. Literally Born to love its my one flaw that bothers me the most. I find the good in anyone and i am willing to love them uncontrollably its sickening. Some people dont believe me with this but oh well. I know how caring about certain people makes me feel.
oh well. Its not important now I guess. just wanted to share what was going on in my head. Ive been thinking for so long about this. Love is ugly and unfair. even when its pure it finds a way to be gross. Even though it is so disgusting I am still willing to love and be loved. sighhh.

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This is a crop of a photo I took with some friends. They were apart of the production Joseph and the technicolor dream coat. I found this site that gave me and the idea to combine jewels and animal print.. was in love so i tried it.

19
Mar

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

photo of me and my baby bro. I LUHH HIM SO MUCH!
I have other pics from the picnic. hey are on fb tho …

Flyer: I made this for Christian Sisters United. They are an organization at my school[Howard University]. Actually found out about them through my new roomate. No pun intended she IS a God Send!  Well The idea of the the flyer came from their theme Footprints. This is after a lot of changing around from the conference Chair person! She is so sweet  and particular about what she wants i was happy to deliver <3. I did another fyer and im working on one more. If you are @ HU and are interested in the conference Sign Up, Im Going :D

http://christiansistersunited.com/

click for a larger view

Concept: Inn Love
Let me know if it all makes sense to you :D

17
Mar

My money is in miami but im not.
Ive been sick pretty much all week…. on and off
i had a root canal my first day back
had to drive to somewhere and got lost AGAIN
my bed fram brok bc my siblings wanted to jump onit… -_-
Im really not as bitter as my list seems.
Im straight chilling
my week has been mostly of me sleeping or driving
I am currently trying to add just updates of designs.
Its still a blog just a design blog till i feel that i have enouh energy to open my mouth!… or use my hands and type.

*** I havent had a decent dream and weeks. Just a bunch of nightmares, God help me.**

My past couple of weeks have been wild. I’ve Had crazier times in my life but the things Im expereincing now are just random. I really dont know how to approach  some things I have to face. Ive been mostly ignoring it all rolling my eyes and keeping it moving.  Its liek I have a weekly Catastrophe. Last week… I was sick as all hell…  then In between that, I had a serious situation with a certain somebody, that eventually turned into another situation with other somebodies and im left sitting here confused and upset. All i really do is pray, other than my big sis that’s the only person that wants to listen to me with ought  making a big deal of it all. I dont feel half as bad as I should. Reason being Ive dealt with things about 10 times as bad, these are just baby problems although they are still a nuisance.

I’d like to call this my midterm Crisis. UGH!!  guess is should be expecting more of these as college continues  <3