Archive for » December, 2008 «

I didnt go to work today because i technically dont have to. Why didnt i go, it was mainly becas eof my research paper whic i should be working on RIGHT NOW… i have 6 more pages to go. I should actually have em done by 10 but knowing me and my lack of discpline that means 2 am. if that changes ill update. haha, anyways, frist track meet was aiight nd i found out soemthing but idk if i should rely on it. cus yeh..

Today i was running very late, i woke up at 6:50ish i rushed a shower nd dressed did my hair, while finishign up a project, i was on my way out about 7:30 and i go down the street that i take evryday.. friggin union didnt salt it tho.. so i skid down and crash into  a van. i was shook and scared and did my thumper thing when im nervous. i called my fam but they took lik 10 min to pik up.. literally!  then i called the polic. then i went home for 2 hours and went to school a little later.

We practiced hurdles today.. i think i got better.. we’ll se at the meet on monday :) my 08 heads showed up ins chool today. made me very happy… im doing horribly in precalc nd i hate it. i dont know if there is any hope. i should took cooking or some crap!

like i predictied.. its 10:10 and ive only gotten a page and a half done… gosh.. so ow i need 2 nd a half more pgs…. considerig the cazy circumstances tonight i did well lol

If you’re a bird, i m a bird if you watched or read the notebook, youll get the general gist of this. So this pertains to my life in the sense that one of the birds doesnt feel like flying.. and wants to vaycay for a while. I dont have much else to say about this, all the things ive been going through this year have equaled one thing…. I cant wait for 2009.

Maybe it wont be filled w useless and hurtfull surprises and maybe it wont creep up on me with problems. Im ready for change.

Today was great!.. minus one incident haha, We went tot he jardine academy for children with cerebral palsy. I felt really good because i was w the kids they are just little balls of happiness. What really made me happy was that this girl Eline was bumping to Kanye’s 808s and heartbreak CD, she immediately caught my attention. I love Kanye. Then another girl kept clapping and smiling at me, it was great.

Im cold.  I cant say im not upset because i am. but i can take that out on the track. First meet on saturday so i cant wait for that. I found out we arent doing shuttle hurdles because we dont have a whole team yet.. YUUUK….

but im onthe 4×200 so yeh… cant wait to see the outcome :)

im working tomorrow.. haha forgot to mention I got hired at rite aid, yay! i get min wage… hate that but  watevs, i have  nice co workers… okk im out bout to go do work… twas a great day, crap evening.

15
Dec

New wordpress theme and new word press url and in a way, new Me.  as seenin my old  posts ive been stressun nd not feelin so great, thats slowly changing.. tbc…. gotta finish this scholrship app

THANK YOU OLIVIA!

Affirmative Action.

Its great, it give people oppurtuntes where they might not be able to get it in the first place. But do not use this as an exscuse for my achievements. Something Ive been hearing since my freshman year is “You dont have to worry about collge, you’ll get in, your black” ok… so maybe affirmitive action might have a little somethign to do with that, but I worked my butt and brains off just as much as the head of the class to get to where I am. I dont like how my efforts, hard work and acheivements are put on the back burner because of general idea. Its just wrong…… Today was aalright slept thru humanities hnded in my essay late but i got my progress report grades. Im doin ehhh—-. I neeed to get those 3.7′s so i canbe exempt and also so my gpa can go up

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Okay, I have finished all my applications. I thought that I would feel relief, but all I feel is empty. Its almost like things just got bad. Im on a blank page and nothing has been written on it. Its pretty depressing. I feel like my senior year is not really goin no where. My grades so far are just B’s and its killing me, well i have A’s in other classes but the classes i should be acing I am not and its just unbearable. Besides that track started. I was happy and anticipating it for the longest, My Senior year Ill be in charge, one of the big dogs.. nope didng happen. I feel like i wont make moves. My favorite event, Hurdles.. Im looking bad. during practice i should be leading the pack but im not. I dont know. Its not really a lack of motivaton because I am very motivated to do well. Its just not working!! WHY?!!? Ive been desiginign a lot lately and thats cool. I also have been reading a lot, thats making me feel better too. I just hate how I dont feel satisfied or happy. I also feel bad that all that crap gets shoved inthe back of my mind and only shows up here. No one really nows how weird im feeling. Except for one of My friends J. She knows because we have this unspoken way of knowing whats goin on w eachother, maybe because we were born a day apart. I just feel “EHHH”. Right now im just praying fo rmy GPA to get better.. to get into my DREAM school… and to enjoy my senior year. it just dont feel right. GUHHHH…..

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03
Dec

My body is actually sore, but it is quite all right. Track season started two days ago and I am so very happy! I got back on the hurdles yesterday and it was a little sloppy, Im sure our coach and I will fix that up by the first meet. I cant believe its my last year to run high school track :’{. Notice anything different? Well I’m sort of writing properly. I thought it might be nice to start lol. Anyway things arent all that great but prayer is all I need for now. I was about to get a job, its located right behind my school… like a hop skip and a jump a way from where I hurdle lol. But they close at 4 and i dont get out of practice till 4:30. I also am working on a new project. I would like to put it up when I’m done, its basically ” my life”. Well its tim to start hw even though school starts in an hour and a half.

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Well we already went over the anticipation for the not so great holidays, I was right, not so great. but now i just feel overwhelmed. I dont know what to do. the little things i run to for comfort aren’t so comforting anymore. Now i just wanna cry. I dont mean to sound so down and depressed but i just am. Its like i have to put up this happy front for everyone else every other time, but i dont wanna do that just now. I want to sulk and cuddle up like a baby. I realized that i screwed up major one of my applications. I emailed the schools admissions but what makes it worse is that i realized this mistake the day of the deadline. WHY, I thought that i was on early and ready for all of this i guess not. And things that are supposed to get better just arent. Its like a dont be happiness is following me. I want to just stay home tomorrow and sleep in and sulk and cry and drink tea, and get lost in a few books. GAAAHHH…. The simplest thing made me a little happy today tho, green and yellow gummie bears, my sis had them stashed inher purse, guess she didnt like them, i had this amazing sugar rush deff didnt last cus im like this and i have 3 essays due in 6 1/2 hours an dmy guidance counselor is soo behnd schedule on sending my stuff. HELLO!!! i want to ” stand on the rooftops of humanity and sound my barbaric YAWP” tear drop? not yet. i just wish 08 would be over. WORST YEAR EVER. a few good memories but over all worst from 12:00 am january first its been a pain in my tush!!!

ok letme start this stupid essay

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